This soul needs internet

Smiles

2011-08-29T22:32:00.001-07:00

Before after

2011-08-23T06:35:00.001-07:00

IKEA's spare parts . I think from shaun's wardrobe .
Chico's new house.

Banners

2011-08-23T04:12:00.001-07:00

Maxis scholarship award ceremony . Held at mandarin oriental , very nice setting . Its actually the first time I receive such an award .

Wanna say thanks to mochi for her support and my friends in class , always supportive , always . And of course my parents.

Judo

2011-08-22T07:59:00.000-07:00

After 3 years of absence, I'm back for now . The soreness from one time's training will last almost a week. How I miss those Breakfalls , bruises , reckless groundworks until one little girl scolded me " Carry the mats ( tatami mats ) yourself la , are u a man?! " then i realized she has the yellow belt on her waist and I had my white belt .

IMF

2011-08-17T09:46:00.000-07:00

Was preparing to watch mission impossible 4 by watching the 3rd one.
There's tom cruise in the middle. spot the top left corner. Malaysia has landed in Hollywood, in a way.

Holidays

2011-08-17T07:19:00.001-07:00

Holidays are always good. No matter how u spend it . Hopefully I can make use of this holidays doing ... absolutely nothing . Rest .. we will...

Going mobile .

2011-08-14T07:19:00.001-07:00

This page will now go wireless!

2011-04-22T23:16:00.000-07:00

Being in a relationship like one long course of trying to know a person , trying to understand what makes her laugh , what makes her swoons .
And I dont want to fail it .

Studying is fun .

2011-04-05T06:04:00.000-07:00

I was talking to mochi on the phone and she told me something on one of our lecture slides :

so i proceeded to google search it cause maybe it was a real unit or something. And the internet wont fail to make u laugh.

but jokes aside , it IS actually a unit ..
you see. google tends to show you what is most searched by the world and put it at the top most .

so kids, stay away from the search engines until you're 8

impression

2011-01-11T00:58:00.000-08:00

Rh's impression of me is kinda like this :
( yay for thinking i look so cool and thin in thie imaginary world )

But In fact I look something like :

Fat and hairy. Oh no! time to hit the gym ?

2010-11-30T06:31:00.000-08:00

I don't mind the treatment ,
You have to mean what you said ,
Don't try to blurr my vision ,
For I still can look through your motions ,
Please understand what I'm saying,
Because I wont say this again,

History can be rewritten ,
If I still ride the same way ,

It's either we change together or we don't change at all.

McD's french fries

2010-11-20T03:31:00.000-08:00

After some research on the net:

Did you know that ..

One large Mcdonald's French Fries (400 calories) = 5 minutes to eat
Roughly 372 calories burnt in jogging = 33 minutes

Therefore : I ran freaking 33 minutes like a hamster to burn off a packet of french fries. That's just great.

This explains why Mcd is the leading cause of obesity in the world .

Wonder how long I need to run to burn off a spicy chicken Mcdeluxe ( that would need some ultra deluxe running I guess )

A week in Shanghai that lasts forever

2010-09-25T22:48:00.000-07:00

After weeks of planning and excruciating researching , Rouhui the ultimate walker and I finally commence our little trip to Shanghai on the 18th of sept 2010 . I cant say it's a leisure trip because you guys wont believe how much we lined up / walked all over the place and had really not enough sleep during the days in expo ( RH should know why ) . So here we are , standing in Pudong international Airport , staring into the vast amount of foreigners lingering around looking as lost as we're . It was really our first time going abroad alone without adult supervision , kinda scary and a turn on knowing no one is there to say " NO ! you can't buy that " " NO! cannot eat that ! " . we go wherever we want , do whatever we wanted , eat whatever we desired !! that is what we call a holiday trip . I can't remember the last time I had so much fun with someone .. :)

In KLIA : the drinking water is right outside the toilet. we realized this AFTER we drank it. WIN

Did you know : KLIA is the world's best airport .. might not have the world's best sanitation.

This is random. Shanghai coffee tastes better.

This is the place in Shanghai that resembles our Petaling street but sells really all kinds of things.

Little Rh was soo excited to go explore she forgot our buses in Shanghai got windows too. @.@

Isnt this nice.. The temperature outside is -50 Celsius . U hang a weenie outside it will freeze instantly

Colourful seats on our MAS airplance ride. starting to think the designer is our beloved Jessica Tan.
People rushing to the toiler like there is no tomorrow!

Managed to freeze ourselves to take this picture. Do not mind my uncle look pls. just trying to fit in.

Taking a boat ride on the "west Lake" of Hangzhou . this lake is so huge ur mama can take a dip in it. no problem whatsoever
Notice the background slab of stone . It says something like " Ng's hill sky wind" this hill is basically named after Rouhui's family.. @.@ I think Yap's hill is somewhere in China also.. T.T
Me by the lake.
Us on the boat.

So our trip was planned out by the tour ppl as usual . First day we went to Hangzhou to absorb the fengshui and history blablabla but we were too awesome to understand what's the story behind this breath-taking west-lake . It's something like once upon a time , there is this emperor . fell in love with a girl and everything went blurr , but who cares , we took hell lotsa pictures.. :)

While everyone else was learning about the place's history and shit , we were walking around looking for things we really like . in this picture , You will see a girl's first love .

Look what we found !! A dental surgery practice in Hangzhou.. so we went in and asked the dental surgeon in fluent shanghai accent :
RH : " How much for a wisdom tooth extraction? "
DR : " 30,000 RMB " ( which roughly converts to around rm 15000)
RH : @.@

That basically confirmed our plan to migrate to China when later on we asked our tour guide and learn the painful truth . She laughed and told us there is no way it's so expensive.. normally ppl in China go to big hospitals for dental care and mostly it's around 100 RMB only.. T.T

Hotel room in Hangzhou is not bad . but lousy conpared to Shanghai's one

Some lotus paste dessert that looked and tasted like hot glue , we looked around and found out every adult around was enjoying it , so we also acted like enjoyed in without looking rude.

Field of lavender in one of the many gardens around the west lake.
How do u rotate this thing T.T
ohh , and we went to this teahouse is Hangzhou which apparently produces tea leaves for Eu Yan Sang and almost spend Rm600 to buy a bag of leaves , luckily we didnt , yay!

went to this West Lake Museum where we weren't really interested and spent 5 min there and went off taking pictures with branded cars .

The view from the top of the "What's-that-name-again temple" I think it's named after Rouhui's surname also. But it was really a good way to enjoy Hangzhou's view all round.

Spent a night in Hangzhou and traveled to Shanghai by bus ( 3 freaking hours ) the next day. EXPO TIME!!!

In a butshell ( not a typo , we walked till we get butcramps ) ..

we covered 23 Big pavilions that includes France , Belgium-EU , Spain , China , Denmark , Greece . etc etc

and 25++ famous cities around the world in this place called the Urban best practices area..

Bruce lee's army in red. I guess his balls needs more fresh air because the first day we went to expo . it was hotter than KL. can u bliv it ? we travelled 5000km expecting some chilling weather and all we got is SUN SUN and more SUN

Rh and her obsession with hats . this was taken in The city of Odense ( denmark ) where everyone rides a bike there.

Tickets looked like this . The little blue things are the expo's mascots called " HAI BAO " which reminds me of detergent . oh well.

Hand in hand in the expo. we were so afraid we will get lost because it's so freaking huge inside

This bridge connects Pudong to Puxi ( rhymes with something else right? ) it's the tallest bridge I've ever seen in my life . I've seen the Golden Gates bridge back in the states but this was more awesome upfront..

The mermaid Statue imported all the way from Denmark . They actually carried this mermaid ( which is in fact one of Denmark's top tourist attarction ) to the expo. *touched

on the right: we tried out minting a coin of our own in the Finland pavilion ( land of NOKIA )
on the right : In Denmark pavilion where they have this cool fountain.

If ur going to the expo . Make sure U bring along : someone to talk to while u wait , and an umbrella . Yes . an umbrella . it will save ur life. ( I think Jane were to come to the expo. she wont be able to stand the heat .. lol )

I've no idea what expression is that but i think bikes turn her on. :)

The NORWAY pavilion in my opinion one of the best because of the restaurant there .

Canada is nice because of the food there too. Almost every pavilion have their own special food imported from their home country and chefs are imported too.

This is the Swiss Pavilion , home of roger federer and cheese.

Czech was not bad . the beer was not bad too but cannot compare to Tsing Tao ( which is the national beer of China , cheers to that )

The Swedish Pavilion . home of IKEA and good beer.

Spain easy access lane : we managed to get in Spain pavilion in 3 minutes while the other have to line for 3 hours ++ .. Ngek ngek

inside one of the cities ( Paris as remembered by RH ) are projection loops that will awww any techie

Ermm i think this is in Makkah?

After day 2 at the expo : we went for a cruise ride on Shanghai's mother river. Huang pu river i think . I dun have the pictures with me here ..

If u zoom in this picture further . U can see Jaron's name. ( random ) the fifth poster : " JARON DE JADE " restaurant . Im pretty sure it only serves pork.

The Russian Pavilion. One bigass pavilion..

ohh wait.. before I go on.. there are some dark sides of the expo that you should know and have a certain degreee of mental preparation . seriously.

Lining up for even the smallest pavilions like Malaysia ( where there is nothing inside ) and even countries U've never heard of needs at least 30 minutes . for Big pavilions like France , Germany , Belgium , Italy . At least ... At least 3 hours. this is the line in CANADA.

But wait .. there is more ! :) this is the line BEFORE we go in to the expo. at one of the 9 main entrances of it .

I am not lying guys.. this is proof . It roughly translates into 3 hours of standing / squeezing / super loud shanghai ppl . When i mean super loud i dont mean Angyee decibels . If u think Angyee is loud enough .. You should see how Shanghai ppl converse ; They talk like tomorrow they will lose their voices..

Everywhere u look. more lines. Unfortunately for us . the days we went are China's public holidays for the mooncake festival.. daily admission into the expo : 600k ++ (holyshit right. i know )

Finally , The site is SO humongous . It's so easy to lose ur sense of direction inside . Luckily I have a personal GPS that I wont let go even if I got stampeded on . (*hints : the one in the picture )

Dont get too depressed though. The Fun of it definitely beats all the downside of everything there!

German beer and sausages .. AWESOME! the price : not so awesome 49 Yuan for the beer . T.T

Norwegian restaurant ? definitely worth it.

And we get to meet MU's Very own Wayne Rooney!!!!! 's shirt. that is.
Rh getting all excited about this norwegian Spirit we tried which will burn a hole in your tongue with a drop.

Football jerseys hanging in the Belgium-EU pavilion . Wandee wandee wandee!!

introducing the new dental xray machine from FINLAND!

Recommend by Rouhui and Nicholas. Used once sure spoil policy.

If not mistaken i think this is the Nepalis Pavilion. which beats the crap out of malaysia pavilion.

Left : the taiwan pavlion
Right : China pavilion.

And here my friends : Malaysia Pavilion. We managed to get in without lining up because we are Malaysians . but once we got in , we got out almost immediately . cause it just sucks . seriously.

I think if there were a Smurf pavilion. it will beat malaysia too.

on the left is the spirit we tired in the Norwegian restaurant. AWESOME!
on the right is the ...?? have no idea what is that ..
can see ahmed from here.
GOD-ly chocolates . seriously.. In shanghai airport it's cheaper :)
view from our shanghai hotel room :)

No matter what ,

2010-07-22T08:37:00.000-07:00

I'll stand by you ; through thick or thin , rain or shine .

Once in a while

2010-07-20T06:11:00.000-07:00

I will think of you . Most of the time I miss you . Not really good with words , so I went around my neighborhood around midnight - my mom thought i went nuts and almost called the guards - and took some random shots to erm... convey my
feelings ( because I cant write my feelings on paper , I can only visualize and feel it ) super fail , i know.

- Some time ago , my feelings were all like this. Jumpy and scrambled , lost , paranoid and stupid.

- And this , exactly like this , going back and fourth dunno what to believe in .

- I was so Focused on only one thing I couldn't grasp the big picture , like zooming in light-speed not knowing what's going on around me .
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- But when you cleared up the smoke , holding me tightly and whispered " I will always be your sailor "
everything went clear.....

oh yar. and something random she drew during our " study time " ( note the inverted commas )
So cuuuuttteeeee! but the mouth's kinda big .. maybe he's hungry?

" Getting bored of you is not an option , because everytime I hold you it feels so different , like holding a toy that transforms "

Short sightedness

2010-07-14T04:16:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I wrote on this dark corner of the net. Too long actually, the longer you keep it in , the more likely that the very thing you've been trying to hide explodes and blows up in your face and there is nothing you can do about it. Tough to be a guy sometimes, do this do that , get scolded also have to put on a little smile in your face . I know this friend of mine , he can't control his emotions really well , so he hides it inside most of the time , but when finally he know someone who can share this feeling with , he blows everything out. This is what I call = addiction . addiction to being down and away , addiction to being depressed. that's a cure for that though fortunately , lot's of water and exercise . The world is filled with so many kinds of freaks , and my little friend , he is one of them ; sad to say . but after a while , he realized that there is no point . If you keep a bird in a cage , the bird flies away. Now that I've found a cure for his little addiction , hopefully everything will be okay for him . He will change , he told me . He will be the better man for his better half . And I trust him , do you ?

Everything's gonna be okay he said . A-okay. and most of all , he said sorry. real sorry. His past relationship screwed him up big time . Then I told this guy : " change before it's too late , look at the big picture pal. and see a therapist for god's sake"

Little dino doesnt know a thing. love him pls.

2010-06-18T22:02:00.000-07:00

I just want to hug you, but you're 280 km away, what I wouldn't do for a hug.

Sunway L.

2010-06-17T02:10:00.000-07:00

3 must do things in Sunway Lagoon :

1) Scream like a girl (optional)
2) Act like ur drowning in the surf beach .
3) look and observe what couples do in the water (You will be surprised)

Reached around 10am , packed with people in different sizes and different colours . Went in straight to the lockers ( rm 15 ) , and hit the water ( with my shirt on ) . Spotted a few awesome dude with awesome bodies and look at myself ( sighs ) .

Water park was awesome!!! especially the wave beach and the slides , where we screamed like girls. Dry park made me crap in my pants , the pirate spinning thing was scarier than I thought it would be . Overall experience : 7/10 because they had to close down the Rapid River thing for maintenance ( shit ) and also one more ride which i forget what's it called .
The Lunch was AWFUL partly because of the out-of-this-world price and the burger was not even reaching jaron's standards ( and we all know how much he likes burgers ) .

67th FDI convention and you

2010-06-14T09:21:00.000-07:00

The hall was so big , ur mama can fit in comfortably.

well , it was at held at KLCC . see the bridge half way ? it's call the sky bridge. i went there at 8.30 am in the morning to get tickets , it was already packed with tourists and locals. wanted to bring you up there , but unfortunately..

Slept for around 10 hours for 3 days due to the FDI convention . Died during the lecture delivered by Carl.E.misch (thanks Esther for the ticket) . At least im not the only one :)

Skinny version of me done in 2 seconds. :) cheers to that shaun+jaron! (rambutan wine)

During the convention , we managed to explore the surroundings abit . Because both of us were equally curious , we indianajones-ed Trader's hotel's sky bar and went to KLCC for a short movie ( killers ) which was very random.

The pool was right in the middle of the bar. beside the pool were couches like that. looks so cozy.

and on ur btm left is my super model posing.

we went up in the morning, so it wasn't open yet. Ended up pretending to be delegates from China took pictures like some crazy ass ppl.

I know .. i know .. lighting fail. But i still like this picture. the background and the model inside it.

This notice is particularly a joke to us because we wanted to go in naked ady. Nudity rocks!

so it's called a saunarium?.. hmmmm

spider woman in the making! :) trying to scale the walls of trader's . Unfortunately she wasnt bitten by spider , but by a sheep.

and this was in the lift.. the lift was so fast , it travels from the 5th floor to the 34th floor in just 2 seconds.. our membranes almost burst.

Skybar + pool :)

During the movie " killers" ; Ashton was hot . and the whole movie was kinda random though. neighbours becoming assassins and stuffs . almost fell asleep till ur dad called and said he was coming.. freaked me out //

" Happy I found someone to fill in the gaps between my fingers " lame but true.

This was totally random. My dino wanted to take a random picture by lying down on the carpet in KLCC where they are having the Gala there. :) finally found a random spot . She's becoming more and more random everyday...

Sky bar!!! the view is awesome, the water is clear. let's go there someday at night.. :)

She can really make a good sales girl.

Meet Bumblebee

2010-06-06T08:27:00.000-07:00

She is white , fluffy and have a heart the size of dumbledore.
She came into my life so suddenly that made me think I have the most awesomely random girl in the world.
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She is actually a cupid but disguised as a soft toy.

Sleeping alone is the thing of the past now. Because I have her by my side everyday now .
( no matter where you are, be it in taiping or sungkai or penang , I will know ur right beside me )

* words cannot describe how random u were *

.. and today is buy 2 free 1 day at the juice stall we always go without fail . Redbean macha is a win! awesome recommendation.

drink-till-puke threesome
....

In a nutshell , Im so happy I met you. and also finally managed to make u take a nice picture with me. :)

" honey attracts the bee "

What IF...

2010-06-05T05:48:00.000-07:00

" The peanut butter banana smoothie @ D'lish"

Dude : " let's get that kick-ass lamp IF we're married "
Duchess : " swt"
Dude : " IF lar.. btw, do u prefer a small IF or a big IF"
Duchess : " hmmmm.. small if... but i prefer it without the if "

*Melts * rolls * flying without wings *

My light in darkness

2010-06-02T07:48:00.000-07:00

This little blog will now record all the happy things in my life and only the happy , memorable things. Because a special someone once said sad things are meant to be forgotten and not repeated.

"At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet." - Plato (427-347BC) Greek Philosopher

I just want to thank you for being here by my side through thick and thin ; picking me up when i thought all hope were lost. There you are.. showing me the way , for you're like the sea , holding on to the beach , no matter what happens , those two will always be together.

I just want to say sorry for the times I hurt you , for the times I said those awful things to you , for the times i ignored your need for attention.

" you rock my world .. in ur own way"

After all , you're the one who taught me how to love again. Although you're new at this twisted game of love and relationship , your thoughtfulness and caring-ness never fail to amaze me .

"I love you, not for what you are,or who you pretend to be but for what I am when I am with you." Nicholas (1990- ? ) dental student,COD player,crap-talker.

You're at the back of my head wherever I go, like an angel on my shoulders.

Well, words mean nothing without action . I will try to fulfill your every needs as long as my capability allows me to.

"Love is the flower - you've got to let grow." - John Lennon (1940-1980) English Singer, Song Writer, Musician

I may not be the best boyfriend around town , but I can try to fit my key into your lock , even if it takes me months to shape the key against a rock. believe me , For I will do it .

For all I know , my heart belongs to you only.

taken in I-city,Klang. Caused me 2 kg of arm muscle but it's worth it. :)

This is kinda cheesy but who cares! I like to be cheessyyy because this is who I'm. So to prove my love to you, I did it on land , beside the ocean , on the beach , underwater , with a tree , with some grass ; but the most important element is the beating heart.

Un-edited, the real deal.

half-filled heart

half-filled heart fully bloomed.

" Love is not written on paper , For paper can be erased . Nor is it etched on enamel, for enamel can be broken. But it is inscribed on a heart and there it shall remain forever "

protection

2010-05-31T05:16:00.000-07:00

Although it's all bright and funny outside , sometimes it rains inside.
Making fun of me is one thing , sometimes it hurts when I really think it was meant to hurt . All the abusing and jokes i can take , but sometimes i feel a tad too sensitive to deflect them 100% . It all comes down to how u look at things , how other people in rooms influence you , how your thinking and your emotions get mixed together and rape the life out of you. But most of all , thanks for listening , caring and stepping on my ass most of the time . " I wont emo anymore " life is tooooo short. heading for a brick wall soon.

2010-05-25T06:52:00.000-07:00

why everytime i reach out my hand, you will back off? or is it just a reflex..

What was her reaction again?

2010-05-09T06:10:00.000-07:00

It's mother's day .

The boy went up to his mom and said : ( in cantonese ) " happy mother's day mom. " and hugs her .

Mom : " Haiyo , lei fat siu ar ? " ( haihz , is your basal temperature going up again? "

Boy : " No, Ngo yui gong "sorrry" because Seng yat moi tank lei gong wa and bei lei loi hei " ( sorry for not listening to you all these while and for inducing angina pectoris on you daily )

Mom : " lei yi ka xin jin ji dou ar ? " ( now only u realized ? )

It's been a while since I last hug my mom and say some kick-ass goosebumps forming words like that .And her reaction was so awesome I am considering whether to do this again. It was rouhui's suggestion and I think she's crazier than me . Mother's day = a day to get kicked in the balls by the woman who raised u up . wonder what will happen if i said I love you to her . " fai di kiu bak che " ( faster call 911 )

2010-05-05T04:23:00.001-07:00

The boy was dying from AML , a rare form of leukemia, incurable actually . When he was on his death bed , his mom asked him : " son , I'm sorry I've to ask you this, but... what do you want to do before you go? "

the boy stirred on his bed , crying silently .
mom: " I know there is something you always wanted to do ."

still no answer. The mother put down her glass of coffee and headed for the door .

" I want to learn to love again . "

mom turns around, tears in her eyes.

"mom, I want to redo whatever I've done and love you again , I dont want to die..."

mom:" of course You love us , we always knew that . Why would you say that ? " wiping off her tears.

" Can you hold my hand and forgive me before I go?" lifted his frail arm and tried to reach for his mom.

With his hand in her palms . she said this " no matter what , We will always love you , I'll pray for you and make sure HE forgives you "

"Thanks mom."

And the machine went silent. The long beep echoed along the hallway , his chest was still . he was gone.

" I just wished your dad heard this."

Like it should be

2010-03-05T22:34:00.000-08:00

I want everything like it should be . A typical movie life , where everyone's happy, problems doesn't exist . everyone should get their happy ending .

Life's in a way is torturous , you have to think how to solve your own problems , on top of that you have problems other people give to you and most of all , most problems cant be solved that easily. It's like walking down a road where people with masks throw stones at you , stabbing you with a dagger and what's worse , you dunno whose face is beneath the mask .

Sometimes what you need is someone to hold you and tell you everything's gonna be ok . Everything gonna be fine as long as you're in my arms . The human brain is a magnificent thing , problems are not really problems if they are not in your head. You are in control of your life . you are the one who can make or break the situation .

Take a homeless person for example . we would be thinking he is in a hellova dipshit , but in his mind , he thinks this is the life. No burdens , no strings attached , no bills to pay , no one to control him . HE might as well be the most happy person alive .

It seems life is all about learning from your mistakes , no matter what you are , who you are , are u rich or are u poor . it all comes down to one simple element ,
whether you are happy and content with everything and everyone around u.

There is always a silver lining

2010-03-01T01:46:00.001-08:00

Clouds Surrounding the sky,
Looks gray and dark ,
I always thought there will be ---

A silver lining .

Somehow when i get there ,
Nothing will be there but birds and kites ,
drifting aimlessly in the air .

How I wish ,
Everything i was told when i was young,
was true and as colourful -----
as it should be .

But now after i found u ,
Screw the cloud ,
I've got you .

Nothing but feelings on cloud 9 .
feelings that will last ,
although we dont know each other ..
well,

We can always try ...
we can always fall in love again ..

Badass

2010-02-09T05:20:00.000-08:00

let's face it . I am a badass wannabe. Dear-diary, I am so trying to create a new character for myself after the recent judgement day . Feeling like I am just a mirror of everyone around me and not distinct myself. First things i will Do during the new year :

1) redefine myself
2) redefine me
3) redefine I

whether i succeed or not, at least i tried. So what now ? i asked myself in the mirror everyday. and the face in the mirror will just stare back at me with the blank eyes almost telling me that " dude, get a life man "
I am trying to . trust me on this.

oh , and i did nothing new these few days. except for : speaking more lamely than ever
2) taking annoyance to a whole new level
3) finished a book in 4 days ( Tell me your dreams by sidney sheldon )

At least i finished a book. that will do.

over and out .

chapter 2

2010-02-03T06:22:00.000-08:00

Years after human started to walk upright, monkeys were dominating planet earth . And how did they take care of their oral hygiene? we can only guess. Did dinosaurs go extinct because of caries? or a random Dr . dentino-saurus started to act like a dentist and start extracting dino tooth. we wont know.
The answers lie in this 5 years course which is dedicated in understanding and analysing the human dentition. 5 years. Lucky we are given the title Dr.

somehow in order to study this course without getting too stressed up , u will have to learn to love every subject like Dr bala said. Everything is beautiful , appreciate molecules that u cant see floating around . So I am determined to set out on a quest to make myself like every subject this course has to offer .

So my new year's resolution will be " doing something new every 2 days " something that i have not done before . It will be a challenge, but doable . Something like talking to a stranger , building a space-ship, bungee jumping. ETCETC
anything in fact that will get my mind of the fact that I am lost and alone ( romantically)

Relationshit

2010-01-30T04:42:00.000-08:00

Oxford Dictionary defines the word relationshit as :

Being involved in a 5 years relationship which is going nowhere and ending up being kicked in between the legs and in a waist high pile of shit.

reference: serra @sunway ACCA.

Which Reminds me of a conversation that happened some time ago.

Dad : son , it's better to stay single and not get married in this time of era .
son: what ? why?
Dad: look at all the violence the world is facing and the pollution mankind is inducing on earth. ur children will suffer.

son: oo ok.
Dad: Just let her go , she's a bitch. ( something like that )
son : ok.
Dad: next time u will travel around the world and have different girlfriends in different continents.

son: then why u and mom got married?

Dad: cause that was a different time , love was all we had. now u have the world to see.
son : ok, so what do i do now ?

dad: go to ur room and study.
son : ....

chapter 1

2010-01-29T02:06:00.000-08:00

The boy was holding a revolver, designed to fit only 6 88mm caliber bullets. He cunningly purchased the items under a false name whose the gun-seller was not aware was fiction. His glossy black eyes were steady and calm; although this was the first time he's holding a gun, he operated it with a sniper's smooth moves. One by one the copper plated bullets were inserted into each chamber, it slided harmoniously into place , each time the boy felt closer to his grave. In front of him was a picture of his lady, his beloved first love whose heart is in every corner of the world but him. His thoughts were clear : " I have nothing else to live for now.."
slowly he raised the barrel up to his temple and pull the lever back . It was tighter than he thought, it was a daunting prospect for a 18 year-old boy to be doing this. He mastered his strength and finally got it to click in place.

With his index finger on the trigger and his thoughts about the pain he is going through. He squeezed the cold metal without a second thought. " goodbye , my lover"
He didnt felt immediate pain or any sensation whatsoever , in fact, he felt nothing . The hammer struck the rim, but nothing happened . " You must be kidding me , cant you let me die the way i want? "
This time he retracted the lever and squeezed the trigger consecutively . The only sound heard was the lever hitting the shell with a dull thud .
4 more times he repeated that and failed.
" He wants to keep me alive"
the weapon was disposed in a nearby trashcan the next morning.

25 years later, the boy that has blossomed into a man is now running a chain of clinics and living life as if there is no tomorrow. Everything was right and nothing can go wrong..
Until one day he bumped into his first love who almost made him took his life. He stared into her eyes and said : " Thanks for not killing me , it changed my life " and walked away. the girl was dumbfounded.

In fact, the Gun-dealer sold him defective bullets. As he knew he saved a life.

" Love can make u do stupid things "

writing helps.

2010-01-28T09:01:00.000-08:00

pictures speaks a thousand words. I guess they were right on that . how i wish i could turn back time and give myself another change to redeem the love that i spend so much time acquiring and sacrificing.
everyone told me its not worth and I fought like it's never gonna be a tomorrow.
well, now ur right. im wrong. obviously something wrong here.

sometimes it's better to let it go . time will heal. get a new gf. spend time with ur friends. I WILL do that.

love is nothing ,
nothing can be done when ur nothing.
how i wish ur everything,
but ur the thing,
that destroyed everything,
sometimes it's better to just throw things,
or just shouting at anything ,
there goes my self-esteem,
seeing u leaving with that thing,
makes me feel like i'm a nothing,
but now i know one thing,
family and friends comes first.
not you.